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Monday, November 7, 2011

Well Mom beat me to the punch tonight, but I too wanted to comment on a great day with my Mom. Yes, I'm at 8 weeks today. I still cannot believe 2 months ago tonight I was still in surgery going on hour 15 or so. As a mother myself (still sounds weird) I cannot imagine what my Mom was going through. I'm 42 but I'm still her kid. And as emotional and painful as this journey has been, I would gladly do it all over again as I don't think I could handle this if our roles were reversed.

Looking and feeling so tired I suggested to Mom we go get facials. Of course I'd kill for a massage but that ain't going to happen for a very long while. So we went to The Montage for a late lunch and had a good 'ol Mom and daughter day, like we used to. I DID take a pause before I changed and I admit I did look around to see who was in the changing area. But yes, I did tell Mom tonight that I don't care what anybody thinks about my scars, now or in the future. My doctor says that in time it will look like I had a mommy make-over. But I know the truth. I know what I went through and why. There was an article in a magazine where a woman wrote about being BRCA positive and she went through my same procedure to prevent breast cancer and she referred to herself as a previvor. So when I wrote before I don't know what category I'm in.....I know now. I'm a previvor.

My facial was awesome. Mom came out and I swear it looked like she had just stepped off a plane from Hawaii, all rested and glowing. Then I caught myself in the mirror, and I must say, I looked good. Like some time had been shaved off. I felt bright. I glowed too. It was such a wonderful rejuvenation. Never did I think I would even feel slightly comfortable enough to do this. Now I was very aware of my surroundings and for a Monday there were quite a few women there. But I figure the more I move forward I will continue to have emotional healing as well as physical. We are all going to be thrown a situation in our lives that will make us kick and scream, some of us may get a few of these, but it's the way in which we handle the situation that makes for the best outcome. And so today I handled it with a facial and a martini.

Spending time with my Mom outside of hospitals and doctor offices was so refreshing. And Jack got to spend quality time with his uncle. The time I get with my loved ones is what's most important. You can't buy time. You have to be able to give it AND receive it. I know thanksgiving is still a few weeks away, but I don't need just one day to give thanks.

I am blessed, thankful and hey Mom, I'm HAPPY! I love you.

Love, janeen

Beautiful Day

Hello everyone....today was a BEAUTIFUL DAY!!!  You all know by now, it was 8 weeks ago I sat in a hospital worried sick over my daughter in an operating room.  Although I had Darren beside me, it was one of the longest days of my life.  Today, as I sat with my daughter at The Montage, having lunch and taking in the view of our beautiful coastline both of us reflected back to September 12, 2011.  It has ONLY been 8 weeks but today it seemed like years ago.  We were back having our mom/daughter day and it was Janeen's idea.  Darren watched Jack so we could have some girlie time and it was wonderful.  Now, for the best part.  We went to the spa and had facials.  If you had asked me 2 months ago did I think Janeen would go into a spa and disrobe for a proceedure, I would have said, " NO WAY"!  Well she did and the best part for me was to hear her say, " I no longer care about my scars, I've earned every one ".  I had to fight back the tears.  Both of us came out of our respective treatments glowing.  Truly, we BOTH looked younger, or that's what we told each other.  So that called for a cocktail.  One phone call to Uncle D to see if everything was under control at home, ( it was ) and we headed for the lounge and a Martini.  We felt like the piano player was playing just for us and we were both so relaxed.  I could have sat there for hours but reality set in and it was time to come home.

Our thoughts were with Annette who we figured is about 2 1/2 weeks post op.  She's hurting bad right about now....we can't forget to continue praying for her.  I hope Janeen will make contact with her again real soon.

So, we took time for us today, hope all of you still following this journey will take some time for yourself and have a Beautiful Day too.  So much to be thankful for, go celebrate!

Barb