One Year Anniversary

My surgery was one year ago on September 12.  I just didn't feel like writing.  The last few months have been stressful and disappointing.  I thought when the doctor said, "you need one year..."  I thought, OK, here's my year...boom, I'm all better.  And I'm not.  Writing every night in my journal and reading where I was and what I was feeling every day leading up to September 12 was difficult.  For me, it's as if it just happened.  There is still quite a lot a do not remember, but I don't think I will ever forget the unbelievable pain.  Pain on every level.  I've shed many, many tears this year.  

Last year at this time everyday was filled with IV's, machines, hospital staff, doctors, pain pumps, drainage tubes, a doppler, compression boots, breathing tubes, monitors, etc....and family.  We all prayed that my transplanted tissue and blood vessels stayed alive.  Otherwise I was headed back to surgery.  Those days are foggy but not the pain.  ICU, hospital, recovery home...all in a mere 10 days.

September 12, this year was spent getting a mani/pedi, then meeting family for dinner at Bistango's.  A lovely restaurant with a piano bar.  We figured Jack would like this.  And he did!  After having a great dinner I DANCED with my son.  Jack loved the music, the singing and of course I had tears in my eyes.  There was no rhythm as he says "shake your sillies out."  But that's OK.  I can hold my son.  I can dance with my son.  That's all I needed.  But once again Mom had different plans......

This navy blue Audi Q7 was waiting outside for me.  

Still trying to figure out every bell and whistle and there are many.  It's like an a airplane cockpit inside.  Jack says, "I'll show you what all these buttons do."  He probably will have it figured out before I do for sure.  

2011-2012 A year I will NEVER forget.  

XO, Janeen

"Faith is the bridge between where I am at and where God is taking me." - God Posts