Today I had my hysteroscopy. I tried to get to sleep early last night as I had to leave for the surgery center at 6:15 a.m. I think I got about 3 hours sleep. Anyway, I had to get Jack up early as well. Poor little guy. Mom picked us up and off we went. I cannot believe how nervous I was today. I was making myself nauseous. I checked in, then Mom and Jack left once they took me back. Prepping for the procedure, changing into my gown, getting on the gurney, then giving a medication and surgical history, I just started to cry. Today pales in comparison to what I've been through but it was like a flood of memories came back to me. They started my IV with fluids and then I met my anesthesiologist. The nurses were very nice and they all said that crying was no problem, so I did. I just layed there and cried. If I said 'mastectomy' once today, I feel like I said 50 times. I know they are just doing their job but everyone has to keep asking me the same questions and so I sounded like a broken record. Dr. Wheeler, my OBGYN, arrived. We briefly discussed the procedure to remove the polyps and aftercare. Then off I went...... I got my 'cocktail' and I was in la-la land.
I woke up about an hour or so later. Dr. Wheeler removed 3 polyps. They are getting biopsied and I'm sure all will be fine but I tend to hold my breath a bit until pathology comes back. Mom had dropped Jack off at my aunt and uncles house for the afternoon, so she was there when I woke up. I was so groggy but it soon wore off. I did need a shot for pain and cramping. As the nurse was getting me dressed she asked who did my other surgery because she has seen a lot of patients and she said they all commented at how good I look. I kinda laughed. I know that my LA doctors did an amazing job putting me all back together, but it's weird to have other medical staff comment. Since I still don't feel right I just said, "Thank you." She agreed that it will take me well over a year to "feel" like myself again. She pulled back the blankets and they were covered with blood and iodine. So gross, I can only imagine what the hell goes on in any surgery. ICK!
I've been home in bed all day and have not been able to sleep a wink. I get up and feel a bit dizzy so I just tweeted A LOT today. Feeling better tonight but cramping again. Mom has Lovey for an overnight so I'll try a Tylenol p.m. and hope for the best. I'm so used to having Jack with me and staying on our schedule that getting a day break really isn't a break because my internal clock is thinking about him all the time. But he had a fun day and he loves spending the night at 'Nanni's' house.
I got my take home instructions and obviously stay down, watch for excessive bleeding and cramping and fever and NO swimming for a week. "That's my thing," I said. Feel like I'm taking steps back again with regards to my exercise. I'll have to do something else next week...maybe just resume my walks.
Friday is my cousins viewing which I am not attending; but his memorial is Monday in Fallbrook and I will be there. My other cousin Diane, Jim's sister, flew into town so it'll be nice to see her. She too is BRCA2+ and had her mastectomy last year as well. SUCKS!!!!
On a lighter note, my amazing son is turning "3" on June 24. We are Disneyland bound AGAIN. He loves it; so do I and I LOVE him. Then a few weeks later, back into the swing of things with my EUS scheduled for July (hospital again). Then I still have to get back up to LA for boobie tattoos. I'm sure this summer will fly by.
So I've been blue today. Looking forward to a good night sleep.
"Change is the rule of life, nothing stays the same forever, everything will change, so accept this and enjoy the journey." -Spiritual Truths
Yeah, OK.....
Janeen
